


Bunch of Nancies

by QueenOfRohirrim



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, But He has a change of heart, Coitus Interruptus, Explicit Language, Homophobic Language, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Sandor hates Beric & Thoros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 13:42:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18852226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfRohirrim/pseuds/QueenOfRohirrim
Summary: Four Times The Hound walked in on Beric & Thoros and the one time he wishes it was still possible(It’s a lot more heartwarming than it sounds)





	Bunch of Nancies

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for all the language but hey, it’s Sandor Clegane. He’s got a filthy mouth. 
> 
> I hope this isn’t too terrible haha I wrote it in like an hour and I have no idea where it all came from XD

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” Sandor roared, bolting upright from his blankets. 

He had thought for a moment he’d been dreaming when he found himself being woken from a deep slumber by the sound of a moaning and whimpering woman being fucked good and proper. 

However, unfortunately, he had opened up his eyes to find that a lovely dream was not the case at all, and that the moaning, whimpering woman was not a woman at all, but Thoros of Fucking Myr taking Dondarrion’s dick in the dirt right beside him!

“What are you two fire cunts doing!?” The hound demanded, quickly getting up and moving away from the coupling pair.

The worst part of it was that they refused to stop before they had both had their release, even when Sandor’s rage compelled him to throw the nearest stone he could find to get them to stop.

“Fuck!” Beric grunted, tensing when the rock conked him on the thigh. That would certainly leave a bruise later, but he’s seen wounds far worse.

“Terribly rude of you, Clegane.” Thoros sighed heavily as Beric pulled from him, leaving him feeling quite empty and not nearly as satisfied as he had planned to be.

“Rude of me!?” The Hound shouted. “You two cocksuckers are lucky I don’t string you up like we did those cunts yesterday!”

“Grouchy old dog...” Thoros sighed again while Beric pulled his trousers back up and tucked his softening cock back into them. “What’s the matter? Still a sweet little virgin, are we? Never seen anyone make love before?”

“Put your dick away before I chop the fuckin’ thing off!”

“Thoros...” Beric hissed at his lover. The red priest didn’t need anymore convincing than that. He pulled up his own trousers and closed them up without any further argument.

“Sorry to have woke you, Clegane.” Beric apologized to the Hound while he pulled Thoros back beneath the blankets they were sharing. 

“You’d fucking better be sorry...” Sandor growled. “The next time you wanna take your dick to your bald cunt of a wife, Dondarrion, you’d do well to take care and do it out of my sight...”

“Happy wife, happy life.” Thoros grinned, settling back into Beric’s embrace. “Ever hear of that, Clegane?”

Sandor picked up his bedroll and moved to the very edge of the brotherhood’s camp. If any of the others had seen or heard the commotion they hadn’t bothered to speak up. Truthfully, Sandor supposed, the poor fuckers must be used to it all by now.

“Dumb cunts...” He muttered as he dropped back down into his blankets and rolled over to his side, closing his eyes to try and get back to sleep.

......

Once. Once was quite enough thank you very much. 

The Hound was a battle hardened warrior but if there was one thing that made him want to gauge his own eyes out and dive head first off a fucking cliff it was walking up on those cunts again!

This time they were doing it behind a grove of young trees in the river. Sandor had walked over to take a piss in private, as pulling his dick out around a bunch of cock loving fucks didn’t seem wise anymore, and low and behold there they fucking were! Thoros lying over the bank of the river, mewling and whining like a virgin lady while Dondarrion rutted into him from behind. 

At least this time the worst of it was hidden beneath the water.

“Fucking cunts!” Sandor gritted his teeth angrily, turning as soon as he realized what he was seeing AGAIN. 

He found somewhere else to relieve himself then and didn’t speak to either man for the rest of that evening. 

“Ya sound like a bloody girl ya know.” He finally growled at Thoros the next morning.

“What’s that, Clegane?” The priest asked eagerly, looking at the bigger man with a raised brow.

“When Dondarrion shoves his cock up yer ass!” The Hound snapped. “Ya moan on like some pretty little tavern whore!”

Thoros only laughs and that makes Sandor even angrier. 

“Beric’s very good at what he does to me.” The priest says then with a wicked smirk.

“Oh fuck off...” Sandor growls in reply, looking away from Thoros as he tried to enjoy the ale in his cup. 

.....

“Why am I not surprised anymore?” The Hound seethes, gripping the lantern in his hand so tightly that Beric is sure he might break it.

“You really should announce yourself before you go prancing about, Clegane.” Thoros says as he takes his mouth off of his lover’s cock with a wet pop. 

“I should kill you both, take the horses, and piss off to some place far away from these seven shit kingdoms.” Sandor growls.

“That wouldn’t be wise.” Beric advises him. “You saw what the fire showed you. You know we must go beyond the Wall.”

“The next fuckin’ time I catch you two warmin’ each other’s cocks, I’ll know that I must fuck off from your little band of fire twats and find myself some lonely island to wait out the Winter on!” The Hound snarled at both men.

“Clegane...”

“Fuck off!” Sandor snapped again, kicking the door to the old abandoned cabin open and stomping off into the snow.

.....

“What The fuck are you cunts doing now?” As if Sandor didn’t already know.

“Keeping warm...” Thoros replied in a lust sated voice, nipping the skin of Beric’s neck while his lover kissed and bit a trail down his shoulder, both men’s hands moving in sync up and down each other’s hardening shafts. 

“Cunts...” Sandor growled from his secluded corner in their icy cell. He didn’t have the energy to take much more action than that and it wasn’t like he could go anywhere to get away from the inseparable couple now. The ginger fuck and the rest of his wildling pricks had them all locked up together.

“Beric...” Thoros started to moan.

“Keep fucking quiet or ill gut you both.” Clegane threatened. 

......

If there was one thing Sandor never thought he’d miss it was those two fire worshipping twats being so disgustingly intwined. How they could barely keep their cocks in their trousers around each other. The way they’d look at one another across the fire and smile like a couple of blushing virgin lasses. 

He does miss it, though. He misses it for Dondarrion, even if he would never say so.

The Hound has seen hate like no other could imagine. He’s seen terrible men do terrible things for the most horrendous reasons. 

He’s seen people kill and enjoy it. He’s seen men despise and lust for blood. 

He’s seen a lot of horrible shit done in the world, and even though it wasn’t aesthetically pleasing to walk up on Dondarrion and his red priest in the throes of passion as many times as he had, it was still a nice change to see that such a love could exist in a world of horrible shit.

He’d never say any of that either, and by the end of the night it wouldn’t matter anyway. 

Surely Beric and Thoros would be reunited after the rest of the world died. 

At least, Sandor hopes that they will be. The fucking cunts deserved each other. They truly did.


End file.
